“The tools are in the kitchen-,” she replied from upstairs. “-along with a list of what needs done.” I grabbed the tools and the list and proceeded outside to do what needed to be done (mow lawn, rake leaves, trim trees, trim hedges, etc.). During that time, Mrs. Cole had come downstairs from whatever she was doing.To her (and my) surprise, I was finished in less than an hour and a half. By this time she had gone back inside. I decided to go back inside for a glass of water.Mrs. Cole called me upstairs. I set my water down on the table and went up the stairs. It was very hot up there, so I took my vest off and set it on the banister. I went into her room and closed the door.“Mrs. Cole,” I yelled. For a few seconds there was no answer. “Mrs. Cole,” I called again. This time, I got a response.“In the bathroom,” she called. Now I could hear her piss hitting the toilet bowl and I was strangely aroused by the sound. I thought about baseball to get rid of my small erection. Mr. Ass decided that he was going to kick my ass."You fucker. I'm going to kick your ass for this!" Jack yelled. As he got up and headed towards me, Mrs. Ass stepped in the doorway."Hi hon. It looks like your kind of busy. Mr. Wilson here stopped by the house and showed me a homemade porno. It wasn't a very good one. But I did make out your fat hairy ass. I wouldn't come any closer — it's locked and loaded, and you know how I love to shoot at small, little critters!" There's nothing quite like a woman with her trusty Model 1911.45 ACP to present a convincing argument.Mr. Ass backed up and started looking for his pants. He couldn't find them. Then Mrs. Ass asked, "Looking for these are ya?" The look in her eyes told Mr. Ass to stay put.On to the important business of the day."Pastor Wilkes needs the bed Janice," I mentioned.My lawyer Jake presented her with the petition for divorce."Here is a check for $35,000 dollars. According to the terms of the pre-nup you signed before you got.
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